


i didn't realise (that you were laughing)

by princegrantaire



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Joker (2019)
Genre: Drabble, F/M, Falling In Love, Men Crying, writing fics for a movie that doesn't come out for a whole year is great
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-05
Updated: 2018-12-03
Packaged: 2019-07-25 18:27:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16203143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princegrantaire/pseuds/princegrantaire
Summary: Sophie’s sitting on the far end of the couch, cross-legged, flipping absently through the channels on the beat-up TV in the corner. There’s an amused quirk to her mouth -- Arthur’s seen it before, just never up close and never when he’s just woken up. His heart does a funny little somersault. It’sfine.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i apologise in advance for extreme amounts of straightness, i just love them _so_ much. okay, so a few facts
> 
> \- "Sophie is said to be a hardened single mother who has been beaten down by her time living in Gotham City" from just about every article written  
> \- my take on sophie's personality is mostly based on [these here photos](http://ufonaut.tumblr.com/post/178689456533/ufonaut-ufonautzazie-and-artie-zazie) and [this video](https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-6231751/Joaquin-Phoenix-films-date-scene-Zazie-Beetz-shooting-continues-new-Joker-movie.html) which convinced me sufficiently that sophie's thing is being a bit mean to artie but in a Friendly Teasing Way  
> \- arturo is just anxious at all times, like god intended  
> \- penny, who is said to be "obsessed with her former employer", really does give extreme _believes in conspiracies_ vibes

As Arthur quite literally jumps awake and the cavalcade of disaster that’s followed him around these past few days doesn’t _immediately_ manifest, his first coherent thought is that he’s not in his bedroom.

His childhood bedroom, specifically, with the faded posters and the Wonder Woman newspaper cutouts still stuck to the ceiling.

It’s not the tiny apartment with the mattress on the floor either.

Sophie’s sitting on the far end of the couch, cross-legged, flipping absently through the channels on the beat-up TV in the corner. There’s an amused quirk to her mouth -- Arthur’s seen it before, just never up close and never when he’s just woken up. His heart does a funny little somersault. It’s _fine_.

“Hey, you’re up,” Sophie says, consistently casual, and reaches across to poke insistently at Arthur’s shoulder. The gesture gives way to a sort of distance ache and rest of it rushes in all at once too.

He sits up, heart in his throat.

“Oh, _god_.” One realisation after another crashes on top of him. “I’m _so_ sorry,” Arthur breathes out, flailing, unable to decide where he’s meant to put his hands.

Dinner.

It was supposed to be _dinner_. He didn’t forget, he just--

“Did I pass out?” Arthur scrubs at his face, tired and tired of himself, and tries not to cringe when his hand comes away white, inevitably stumbling over the last traces of face-paint. There’s nowhere to wipe it discreetly so he just holds his hand up and tries not to wilt under Sophie’s gaze.

“Yup. You were just _gone_ as soon as you sat down.” Sophie looks like she’s trying to hold in her laughter, which is nice, if not very effective. “I saved you some mac and cheese though.”

“That’s-- Thank you.”

He should go home. Arthur’s sure there’s something to be said about how his mother’s apartment is still the only place he’s ever called _home_. It’s late and he’s embarrassed himself enough already but Sophie’s still smiling and he feels warm all over. After last week’s date that might not have been a date, well, Arthur didn’t think he’d get another chance.

Maybe it’s not another chance at all. It doesn’t matter much to him, not as long as he’s with her. Sophie is fun and alive in a way he can’t remember anyone in Gotham ever being. Arthur just keeps looking and looking and finds himself quite sure he’s never met anyone like her.

“You’re staring again,” Sophie points out, nudges him and grabs the cigarettes and lighter from the coffee table as she gets up. Arthur looks away with some difficulty and it’s shame that washes over him then, prickling uncomfortably at the back of his neck.

“Where’re you going?” he asks before he can help it.

“Fire escape. You coming?”

The aforementioned mac and cheese is considered, briefly mourned and ultimately forgotten. Arthur follows her out.

\---

“I’m _really_ sorry,” Arthur repeats himself. The door slams shut behind them. Gotham’s cacophony doesn’t drown him out for once -- the fire escape and the alley below are forgiving, quiet too.

Sophie watches him for a moment, maybe trying to determine what he’s apologising for this time, and lights her cigarette, lights Arthur’s too for good measure.

“Don’t worry about it,” she finally decides. “You’re what, about eighty? You’re probably used to falling asleep anywhere.”

A laugh is startled out of Arthur and he coughs as he inhales too much smoke at once, unable to face Sophie in the long moment it takes him to catch his breath. “Just tired,” he finally gets out and her smile makes it all worth it, vaguely fond around the edges. It’s more than he can ask for.

They fall into a sort of companionable silence, faintly stilted without the stars above for company. It’s a rare sight in the city but maybe they’re up high enough to warrant it. Arthur’s urge to point out constellations leads nowhere, he doesn’t know any _real_ ones anyhow.

“Do you think there’s anything out there?” Sophie asks, solemn like she rarely is.

“Hmm?”

“Like… ” And here she seems to hesitate, cigarette held tightly between two elegant fingers, “... I don’t know, _something_ out there that isn’t us.”

Arthur doesn’t need to think about it.

“There are seven different types of aliens currently living among us,” Arthur says, completely instinctively, then very graciously resists the urge to use the fire escape for its intended purpose. “It’s not-- I don’t _actually_ believe in… that.”

Does he?

Half a lifetime spent around one Penny Fleck has left a certain number of conspiracy theories simply ingrained in him. His mother would be proud, Arthur thinks, and doesn’t like the sound of it.

It’s hard to explain himself when Sophie’s just _looking_ at him, dubiously interested. Arthur chews on his cigarette and quite immediately regrets it.

“The stars are really beautiful tonight,” is what he settles on instead, so incomprehensibly calm he’s actually impressed.

“Art,” Sophie says and Arthur actually has to lean against the railing, “You gotta tell me about the aliens.”

“Oh.”

He yawns before he can get any further than that, exhaustion creeping up on him in spite of that impromptu nap.  “Well, they’re--” He yawns again then and rubs at his eyes with his free hand. Sophie’s laughing so hard by the time he gets himself under control, Arthur forgets what he’d meant to say in the first place.

“Just tired, huh?” she asks, one eyebrow raised, distinctly full of familiar amusement.

Arthur feels _so_ light with the affection gripping his heart, he knows he’d do anything for that smile.


	2. take two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> another night at sophie's place. it's not uncommon by now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written in honour of artie canonically crying FOUR TIMES and looking like he's about to cry 24/7 (also just found out zazie has, in fact, a baby gorl and not two boys like i assumed and i am DELIGHTED)
> 
> also note: artie's very desperately in love with zazie and she doesn't return his feelings but he's _completely_ decent about it and just very happy to have her friendship. since this didn't seem to be very effectively understood in the last chapter

The modicum of moonlight offered by the window does him no favours and as Arthur sits up in the dark, his breath catches. Something coils around his heart, tight and unforgiving. The silhouettes of an apartment that's yet to become familiar stretch in all directions.

Sophie's couch. Again.

It's easier to place now. Frantic embarrassment, burning hot.

 _That_  and the rest of it. He slaps a hand over his own mouth to stifle a sob -- surprising but getting less so by the minute. When, exactly, he'd passed out, Arthur can't tell. It's easier here than at home, the wreck of his own life harder to sink into without the physical reminder of it.

No, he still likes to keep that kind of thing close. It's just across the hall.

He could go now, give up on the illusion of this unlikely not-quite-friendship he's fallen into. Arthur knows, _really_  knows, he's got no real chance. In general. More acutely, with Sophie.

And that's _fine_.

It doesn't stop those indistinctly agonised sobs from pushing through. He can't tell why he's crying. It happens, often enough that Arthur fears an upcoming breakdown has more than announced itself and he cries harder then, pressed up against the couch and clutching at himself, trying to tear open his waistcoat in a sudden haste to breathe.

Arthur doesn't hate anything quite as much as coming here from work, too aware of the stares on the subway, unchanged even with the protests, and the struggles of going up any flight of stairs in clown shoes.

The routine remains heartbreakingly comforting. Sophie never waits for him but she's _here_  all the same and that's... enough, really. He thinks of Sophie's daughter, and Arthur's ashamed to realise he's yet to remember her name, and hopes so desperately that he hasn't woken her up. She's--

She's around that Wayne kid's age, isn't she?

God, he wants to laugh, he's shaking with it. He's _so_  tired.

"Artie?"

Sophie's leaning against the doorway, soft in plaid pyjamas and faint light. Arthur smiles before he can help it, wipes at his eyes with the back of his hand, heart beating so fast he thinks he might just hyperventilate. "Y-Yeah?" he manages.

"You alright?" she asks, runs a hand through sleep-mussed hair.

"Yeah."

He is. He _is_ , now, with her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> find on tumblr @ufonaut

**Author's Note:**

> i really hope you enjoyed this!
> 
> find me on tumblr @ufonaut and please dont sue me if this was too straight


End file.
